A Letter To The Survivors...

Dear You,

Another story from yet another victim of sexual assault being hashtagged with #MeToo. It seems every day there is a new story from a new victim who chose to recount the horrific details of their sexual assault to the world. Another person, who like you, is still here struggling to live his/her best life. Another survivor who was taken advantage of by either someone they knew or didn't know. Someone who chose to prey on them to fulfill some sick twisted fantasy. Them. 

The crazy thing is sexual assault is more prevalent than they'll let on. You may not know it but there are probably people in your circles and families who have endured some form of sexual assault. For some reason in the African-American community this is another thing we like to sweep under the rug and pray away. We discount it as Uncle/Brother/Cousin/Momma's Boyfriend (or whoever) was just playing, has a mental illness, you were being fast, or they're being lied on. It is actions and ish such as this that numb us to being loved, keep us in situations and relationships that mean us no good, that have us searching for a savior for our inner child who lost its innocence. We celebrate entertainment and actions that promote rape culture. We are numb to the boyfriend or husband that won't take no for an answer. We're numb to the boss or professor who demands we sleep with them or perform sexual acts just to be promoted. We overdose on drugs, alcohol, sex, or work to try and forget.

But sis, I want you to know until we life the blame we place on ourselves and place it rightfully at our aggressor's feet; we will never be truly free. While you may not want to share your story, know that I understand, you can still help both yourself and others by sharing the stories of others and resources that can help. Parents, check with your children. Stop being so trusting of everyone. Stop letting your children attend sleepovers at everyone's house. Educate them on the proper names for their genitals. Talk with them about the proper way to touch others and what it means to be touched inappropriately and who can/should be allowed to touch them. Oh and if y'all don't stop letting your children sit on people's laps. UGH! Also equally important, sis get some counseling. Know that it is okay to say no. Fully understand that you do not have to share your body with anyone that you don't want. No one can make you feel pressured for whatever reason to give up your body under duress. Leave that significant other who disrespects both you and  your body. Tell that boss to shove that promotion and tell that foolishness to your lawyer. 

Listen...You are here. You are enough. You are loved. You didn't/don't deserve it. You didn't ask for it. You are WHOLE. You are beautiful. Again, I want you to know that you are not alone. There are plenty victors out there just like you. Remember that help is available through various organizations that have trained professionals who can assist you, someone you know, or just be a listening ear. In addition to us doing better, we must help others strive to do so as well, sis. For me, #MeToo is not just a hashtag. It's a movement. One that's long overdue, but I'm glad Tarana Burke had the gumption to start this movement and I pledge to do my part with furthering the empowerment of all victors and survivors. 

Get Help: 
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
Online Chat

Me Too Movement Website
Me Too Movement

National Sexual Violence Resource Center
​Directory of National Organizations


You Are Not Alone,


Charli #MeToo